The de Blasio Disaster

The de Blasio Disaster: When Progressive Men Exploit the Women Who Save Them

An opinion essay on power, betrayal, and the women left to pick up the pieces

The Pattern We Refuse to Name

When Bill de Blasio allegedly cheated on Nomiki Konst with a mystery elected official from another state, ending their 10-month relationship in November 2025, the story was framed as yet another political scandal. Another powerful man caught with his pants down. Another woman left devastated in the wake of male ego and entitlement.

But this story is about something more insidious than simple infidelity. It’s about how progressive male politicians weaponize women’s labor—emotional, intellectual, and professional—then discard them when their utility expires. It’s about the particular cruelty of men who preach equality while practicing exploitation.

Nomiki Konst didn’t just date Bill de Blasio. She rehabilitated him.

The 41-year-old progressive activist, journalist, and former Bernie Sanders surrogate spent months rebranding the disgraced former mayor, fixing his ridiculous hair dye job, crafting his public image, and making him relevant again after his catastrophic 2020 presidential run. She gave him credibility with younger progressives. She gave him her expertise, her network, her reputation.

And then, according to sources close to Konst, he “just kept hurting her.”

The Invisible Labor of Salvaging Male Politicians

Women in politics know this story all too well. We are the campaign managers who work 80-hour weeks to elect men who take credit for our strategies. We are the consultants who fix male candidates’ messaging, only to watch them claim natural charisma. We are the staffers who do the intellectual labor while male bosses collect the accolades.

And sometimes, we are the girlfriends who rebuild men’s reputations, piece by painful piece.

Konst’s work on de Blasio’s image wasn’t just professional—it was intensely personal. She stood beside him at rallies supporting Zohran Mamdani’s mayoral campaign, wearing matching “No Kings” shirts, publicly vouching for a man whose approval ratings as mayor had plummeted to historic lows. She lent him her credibility when his own was worthless.

That’s the thing about women’s emotional labor in politics: it’s simultaneously invisible and invaluable. De Blasio couldn’t have rehabilitated himself. His brand was toxic. His judgment was questioned. His relevance was gone. He needed a woman—particularly a younger, accomplished, respected woman in progressive circles—to make him matter again.

And once she’d done that work, he allegedly betrayed her.

The 23-Year Age Gap Nobody Wants to Discuss

Let’s talk about what we’re not supposed to mention: de Blasio, 64, pursued a relationship with Konst, 41. That’s not just an age gap—it’s a generation gap. It’s also a power gap.

When de Blasio announced their relationship on the eve of Valentine’s Day 2025, the coverage was coy, even celebratory. “Love is in the air,” outlets gushed. The power dynamics went largely unexamined.

But power dynamics matter. De Blasio is a former mayor of New York City, the largest city in America. He has name recognition, political connections, and institutional power that Konst, despite her impressive resume, simply doesn’t possess. When a man with that much political capital enters a relationship with a younger woman in the same professional sphere, the power imbalance isn’t romantic—it’s structural.

This doesn’t mean Konst lacked agency. She’s a sophisticated political operative who worked on Barack Obama’s 2012 campaign and served as a national surrogate for Bernie Sanders in 2016. She knew what she was doing.

But it does mean we should examine what de Blasio was doing—and what he gained from the relationship that she didn’t.

What He Got, What She Lost

De Blasio got: a complete image rehabilitation; credibility with younger progressives; relevance in the hottest progressive campaign in New York City; a contributor deal with CNN; and the ego boost of dating a younger, accomplished, attractive woman in his field.

Konst got: public humiliation; sources describing her as “devastated”; friends saying the way it ended was “even worse than what he did”; and the particular pain of having invested months into someone who allegedly cheated on her repeatedly.

That’s not an equal exchange. That’s extraction.

The Public Humiliation Factor

Here’s what makes this particularly cruel: the relationship was public. Konst stood beside de Blasio at political events. They wore matching campaign shirts. They posed for photographs together. She didn’t just invest privately—she invested publicly, lending him her reputation in front of the progressive movement she’d spent years building credibility within.

When the relationship ended, that public investment became public humiliation.

A friend of Konst told reporters that “the problem was the public face aspect of it all. It was just horrible.” Of course it was horrible. She had vouched for him publicly, and he allegedly repaid that voucher by conducting an affair with another elected official.

Now, everyone in progressive politics knows she was betrayed. Everyone knows she invested her professional reputation in a man who didn’t value her enough to remain faithful for ten months.

Research on violence against women in politics consistently shows that women face disproportionate personal attacks that focus on their appearance, relationships, and perceived sexual conduct. When a high-profile relationship ends in alleged betrayal, women suffer reputational damage that men simply don’t experience. De Blasio will be the rogue who moved on. Konst will be the woman who “wasn’t enough.”

That’s misogyny, not romance.

The Pattern: Women as Rehabilitation Tools

De Blasio’s romantic life since separating from his wife Chirlane McCray in 2023 reads like a case study in using women for image management.

In September 2023, he was photographed in a three-hour make-out session with a mystery woman at an Upper West Side bar. Three months later, he was spotted holding hands with Kristy Stark, a married literacy company executive whose husband learned about his wife’s activities from the New York Post. Then came Konst, the most professionally accomplished of his post-separation partners—and the one who could do the most for his reputation.

The progression is telling. Each woman served a purpose in his post-mayoral narrative. The first: proof he could still attract women. The second: proof he could attract professional women. The third: proof he could attract younger, progressive, politically connected women who could make him relevant again.

And when that purpose was served? When he had his CNN deal and his rehabilitated image? He allegedly moved on to another elected official.

Women as stepping stones. Women as image consultants who happen to share your bed. Women as tools for male reinvention.

This is what exploitation looks like when it wears progressive politics as camouflage.

What Progressive Men Owe Progressive Women

Here’s what makes this betrayal particularly galling: de Blasio built his political career on progressive values. He ran for mayor on a platform of addressing inequality. He championed social justice. He spoke the language of fairness and equity.

And then he allegedly treated his girlfriend—a woman who invested months into rehabilitating him—with profound disrespect and callousness.

Progressive politics without personal integrity is performance. It’s theater. It’s men who know the right words to say while treating the women in their lives as disposable resources.

If you can’t treat your romantic partner with basic decency, your political progressivism is hollow. If you can’t value the labor a woman invests in you, your feminism is fake. If you can’t honor a commitment to someone who sacrificed reputation and time for you, your social justice credentials are meaningless.

Women in progressive politics deserve better than men who preach equality on the podium and practice exploitation in private.

The Silence We’re Expected to Keep

As of this writing, Nomiki Konst has remained publicly silent about the breakup and alleged affair. That silence speaks volumes.

Women in politics know the cost of speaking out about powerful men. We know that telling our stories of betrayal and exploitation often damages our careers more than it damages theirs. We know that we’ll be called bitter, vindictive, emotional. We know that male colleagues will distance themselves from us while male politicians close ranks around the man who wronged us.

Research on violence and harassment against female politicians demonstrates that women who speak out about mistreatment face retaliation, isolation, and professional consequences that men simply don’t experience.

Konst’s silence isn’t weakness. It’s strategy. It’s survival. It’s the calculated understanding that speaking her truth might cost her more than the man who allegedly betrayed her.

That calculation—that constant weighing of whether telling your story is worth the professional price—is exhausting. It’s unfair. And it’s the reality for women in politics.

Meanwhile, Chirlane McCray Watches

The most delicious irony in this entire disaster? De Blasio’s estranged wife Chirlane McCray told reporters she “couldn’t wait to read” about her husband’s breakup and alleged infidelity.

McCray’s schadenfreude is earned. When asked if de Blasio’s disastrous mayoral tenure contributed to their 2023 separation, she responded with an emphatic “Oh, yes, absolutely.” This is a woman who spent years managing her husband’s political career, enduring his failures, and watching him receive credit she helped him earn.

Now she gets to watch him repeat the same patterns with another woman—and unlike Konst, McCray has the freedom to enjoy it.

There’s something grimly satisfying about an ex-wife who’s done with performing support for a man who didn’t deserve it. McCray’s response suggests she recognizes in Konst’s experience an echo of her own: the exhausting labor of propping up a man who takes more than he gives.

What This Means for Women in Progressive Politics

The de Blasio disaster matters because it’s not unique. It’s a pattern.

Women in progressive politics constantly navigate the gap between men’s stated values and their actual behavior. We work for male candidates who champion women’s rights while creating hostile work environments. We support male politicians who speak eloquently about gender equality while engaging in relationships that exploit power imbalances. We watch men build careers on feminism while treating the women around them as disposable.

Studies on women in politics consistently show that female politicians and political operatives face a “double burden”—not only dealing with the work itself but also managing the particular challenges of being women in spaces designed for men.

Part of that burden is doing the invisible labor that makes male politicians successful, then watching those men take credit or move on without acknowledgment of what we contributed.

Nomiki Konst gave Bill de Blasio months of labor—emotional, intellectual, professional, reputational. She made him relevant again. She gave him access to networks and credibility he couldn’t access on his own. She invested publicly in his rehabilitation.

And according to sources close to her, he repaid that investment with repeated hurt and alleged infidelity.

That’s not just personal betrayal. That’s a structural problem with how progressive men treat progressive women.

What Accountability Actually Looks Like

De Blasio released a statement about the breakup that was so bland it could induce unconsciousness: “Nomiki and I had a lovely relationship for 10 months, I have deep respect for her and what she stands for, and I hope we can have a real friendship in the future.”

This is what non-accountability sounds like. Passive voice. Vague respect. Hope for future friendship that ignores present harm.

Real accountability would mean acknowledging the work Konst did for him. Real accountability would mean naming the ways he benefited from the relationship professionally and personally. Real accountability would mean taking responsibility for alleged betrayal instead of issuing corporate-speak about “having deep respect.”

But we don’t get real accountability from progressive men. We get statements crafted by publicists. We get vague language about respect that doesn’t require examining behavior. We get “hope for friendship” that papers over exploitation.

Women in politics deserve better than performative respect. We deserve men who actually value our labor, honor their commitments, and recognize that progressive politics means treating the women in your life with integrity—not just the women in your speeches.

The Question We Should Be Asking

Here’s what I want to know: How many other Nomiki Konsts are out there?

How many women in progressive politics have invested months or years into men who used their labor and then moved on? How many women have rehabilitated male politicians’ images, only to watch those men take the credibility and run? How many women have done the invisible work that made men’s careers possible, then been discarded when their utility expired?

The de Blasio-Konst story went public because they were public figures. But this pattern isn’t limited to famous politicians. It happens in campaigns and political organizations and progressive nonprofits across the country. Women do the work. Men take the credit. Women invest emotionally. Men move on strategically.

And we’re supposed to stay silent about it because speaking out makes us “difficult” or “emotional” or “bitter.”

Well, I’m bitter. I’m bitter that women like Nomiki Konst give so much to men who give so little back. I’m bitter that progressive male politicians can preach equality while practicing exploitation. I’m bitter that women’s labor—emotional, intellectual, professional—is treated as endless and cost-free.

And I’m done pretending this is just about one bad relationship.

What We Owe Nomiki Konst

Nomiki Konst doesn’t need us to rescue her. She’s a sophisticated political operative who will survive this and continue doing important work.

But we owe her—and every woman who’s invested in men who didn’t deserve it—something more than schadenfreude or gossip.

We owe her recognition that the work she did for de Blasio was real work, valuable work, work that had measurable impact on his post-mayoral relevance. We owe her acknowledgment that the betrayal she experienced isn’t just personal but professional—a man using a woman’s labor and then discarding her.

We owe her the understanding that her silence doesn’t mean she’s weak. It means she’s navigating a system that punishes women who speak out about powerful men.

And we owe her our commitment to holding progressive men accountable when they exploit progressive women.

That means calling it out when we see it. That means not laughing off men who “just can’t help themselves.” That means recognizing that infidelity isn’t just about sex—it’s often about power, exploitation, and men taking what they want without regard for cost.

It means understanding that you can’t build a just society with unjust personal practices. You can’t champion equality while treating women as disposable. You can’t preach feminism while exploiting women’s labor.

Progressive politics without personal integrity is just men using the right words while doing the wrong things.

The Pattern Has to Stop

Bill de Blasio’s alleged betrayal of Nomiki Konst is just one story. But it’s a story that illuminates something larger: the particular way progressive men weaponize women’s labor while claiming to champion women’s equality.

It’s time we named this pattern. It’s time we stopped tolerating men who speak beautifully about justice while practicing exploitation. It’s time we recognized that women’s emotional and professional labor in politics has value—and men who benefit from that labor owe something more than vague statements about “deep respect.”

Nomiki Konst gave Bill de Blasio her expertise, her reputation, her credibility, and months of her life. She made him relevant again when no one else could.

He allegedly repaid her with infidelity and public humiliation.

That’s not just a failed relationship. That’s exploitation wearing progressive politics as a mask.

And we should all be paying attention.

---

The author is a feminist journalist covering gender and politics. This piece represents her opinion and analysis.